This story was told to me by one of the early members of the shire,
Ragnar (married to Rowan, now out in the Mid Realm):
After they moved out of the shire, they had a house on top of a mountain
in the middle of barking nowhere at the corner of New York, New Jersey,
and Pennsylvania. (I've been there - really, there's nothing, unless you
really like trees. Lots of 'em!) The directions for getting to their
front door read like "turn left onto the goat track, follow it to the
intersection of the deer trail, turn right, then turn left at the weird
leaf". Yeah, I couldn't find their house either.....
When you get off the highway exit and turn right, there's a McDonald's
tucked into a mountain niche. If you stop there, in the back parking lot,
at night (any night, the trees make it so dark you can see any light),
and look up, you can see lights at the top of the mountain. That was
Ragnar's house!
So when Ragnar had friends over, he'd tell them "get off at the exit,
turn right, turn into the Mickey D's lot, and call me". [Note to self:
never give directions like that to literal-minded Scadians.....]
So his friends pull into the parking lot, pull into the back lot (right
aside of the pay phone), get out of the car, and holler at the tops of
their lungs: "RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!!"
Luckily, sound funnels right up the niche to the top of the
mountain.......
So Ragnar hears them, says a bad word that causes a blue streak to hang
suspended in the air, steps out on his porch, looks straight own the
mountain...to where his friends are still shouting
"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!!" He hollers back,
pointing right at the pay phone: "I meant call me ON THE PHONE!!!"
Silence for a moment, then a small word floats up....."oh."
Ragnar thinks about beating his head against a wall, but instead sighs
and hollers, "Don't move, I'll come down and get you!"
(BACK)